<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I'd like to forget that happened by BlobBeing</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24439561">I'd like to forget that happened</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlobBeing/pseuds/BlobBeing'>BlobBeing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Post it note seires [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Undertale (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Cinnamon Roll Papyrus (Undertale), Depressed Sans (Undertale), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Papyrus (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Sans (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Suicide Attempt, Worried Papyrus (Undertale)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:08:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,071</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24439561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlobBeing/pseuds/BlobBeing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ok so I wrote these to give a bit of context to thing that is brought up in my undertale fancomic series</p><p>You can read that here: https://skimmeh.tumblr.com/post/613295718005915648/heh-ok-so-those-who-dont-know-my-comic-seires</p><p>But reading the comic ain't crucial to understand what is happening here </p><p>This takes place some time between flowey started resetting, and when frisk fell into the underground.<br/>Basically sans is having a shitty time and isn't too good at dealing with it</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Post it note seires [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2005108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>277</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. That was the day you-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>note this fic contains alcohol use and an suicide attempt<br/>so hmm you've been warned :,]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Papyrus seemed bothered, he was weirdly quiet and kept spacing out when Undyne was talking to him.</p><p>They had been training like usual and just finished when Undyne had had enough. She turned to see him idling, kicking at the dirt. He was leaning on one of his attacks looking like a bored kid. </p><p>
  
</p><p>"ALRIGHT, OK, you gonna tell me what's wrong OR are you gonna keep acting like a sad puppy!"</p><p> "Um… I'm VERY fine ... I'M-" <br/>
He dispelled his spell and leaned back, taking in a deep breath.<br/>
"I'm just a bit worried" he sighed, "BUT I'M VERY OK"</p><p>"...what happened, Papyrus?" She tried not to come off harsh in tone, but still noticed how he flinched slightly.</p><p>"Just …. Sans has been missing for almost two days" he muttered.</p><p>"WHAT?... That's it!?" She laughed.</p><p>That apparently offended Papyrus. He took a step forward, pouting slightly.</p><p>"THIS IS VERY SERIOUS! ...I've rang him and searched and- … I just can't find him anywhere!" His expression grew concerned.</p><p>"I'm sure he's fine pap, just-"</p><p>"But what if he's not" he interrupted, voice wobbling. "...what if he's hurt or lost or- … Undyne! I'm so worried, he's never done anything like this before." Papyrus started trembling, there was a desperate tone in his voice.</p><p>"Papyrus..."</p><p>She awkwardly took a step forward. She had no idea how to deal with this, Undyne wasn't the sort of person you'd go to for emotional advice— heck she'd never seen Papyrus this upset before. He sniffed quietly.</p><p>"Hey, hm … look, I could like-" she rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably, "get the dogs to keep and eye out for him … I'm sure they must have seen him." </p><p>Papyrus sighed, wrapping his arms around himself.<br/>
"I already asked them… they just said the last time they saw him was yesterday at grillby's—" his nose ruffled at the mention of the bar, "but he hasn't been there since." </p><p>"Then he's probably asleep on a bench or a station somewhere." she patted him on the shoulder, and he wobbled under the sudden and strong comfort. "Don't worry about it, buddy."</p><p>He didn't seem too persuaded, so she carried on, putting both her hands on her weird skeleton friend’s shoulders.</p><p>
  
</p><p>"LOOK! hm… if he doesn't return by tonight … tell me and I'll help turn over THE WHOLE UNDERGROUND for that bonehead! I promise you we'll find him!" </p><p>"..." Papyrus frowned, conflicted."ok." He shook his head and wiped his eyesockets.</p><p>His usually goofy grin came creeping back. "Thank you so much Undyne! WOWIE I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GETTING HELP FROM THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD HERSELF!!"</p><p>She laughed, nudging him with her elbow. "PSSSHHHTT it's no problem, you doofus. We're friends now, don't gotta be a BIG NERD about everything we do together. 'sides, missing person!!… perfect guard training … even if it's your lazy brother."</p><p>"YEAH!!" He made a fist. "Just hope he's ok…"</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus finished up his training with Undyne and thanked her for the help.<br/>
He was still on edge, but the training was a good distraction, especially after Undyne's reasurment.</p><p>He was making his way through Waterfall, when at the garbage dump he noticed something that caught his eye.</p><p>There on the edge of a cliff sat a small dumpy skeleton, hunched over with his untied shoes hanging over the edge. Water soaked his shorts, trailing down his legs and dripping off into the dark embys. He had a bottle in one hand, which he awkwardly used to rest his cheek against. His half lidded eye sockets hung tiredly.</p><p>
  
</p><p>"OH MY GOSH SANS?!?" Papyrus stumbled slightly as he sloshed his way to sans. "IS THIS WHERE YOU’VE BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME?!?… I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE!!"</p><p>Sans didn't do too much to noice his brother, just leaned back, grinning up at Papyrus.</p><p>"hey p'yrus".</p><p>Papyrus grabbed him by the shoulders, half lifting him up. Sans refused to get his legs under himself, acting like dead weight, so he just held him there.</p><p>"ARE YOU OK? WHAT HAPPENED SANS?!"</p><p>he noticed the empty bottle sans had dropped when he picked him up, it was wobbling on its side from the force of the stream pushing against it.</p><p>"...have you been drinking?" </p><p>"Nnno" he gurgled. "hmm maybe- b-but hhnn wanna tell you somethin'" </p><p>Papyrus knelt down, tired of supporting all his brother's weight and he made him sit down in front of him, not letting go of his shoulders.</p><p>"What is it? What's wrong?"</p><p>"Hnn you'know you're so very cool and amazing- …" he started, thumbing as he put his hand to his chest in a sort of warm gesture "'m so very proud of you lil bro." he leaned over, chuckling weakly.</p><p>Papyrus just looked at his brother, bewildered. He opened his mouth but sans interrupted.</p><p>"You' so very strong and … hnn gonna do great things … you'll be just fine on your own." </p><p>Papyrus shook sans gently, edging him to sit up straight from leaning forward. His brother was struggling to stay awake, and fought unsuccessfully against the urge to slump over into Papyrus.</p><p>"What are you talking about? Sans, What's wrong?" </p><p>"I've fulfilled my purpose!" his grin grew and he laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd heard, hiccuping.</p><p>Papyrus just stayed quiet, confused as he watched his brother snigger to himself. Sans’ face blushed, eyes so very tired. This wasn't right, usually his brother laughing like this was rare, a moment when he was genuinely happy for once, but this wasn't right— it made Papyrus feel uneasy. It sounded so very wrong.</p><p>"Hnn don't need m' anymore- done my job- " he wheezed, "heh heh- god Papyrus I'm so proud of you".</p><p>
  
</p><p>His laughter died down as he looked up at Papyrus with such a genuine smile, it made Papyrus' soul ache.</p><p>"Sans, what are you saying?" </p><p>His grin dropped, so did his gaze.</p><p>"Hhnngg doesn't matter- 'm being all ...sappy 'n' shit" he scrubbed at his face. "'m sorry… heh why don't we head back…you must be tired hm? What time is it?" </p><p>"Sans it's-"<br/>
"I was just jocking heh hhh" he pushed away from Papyrus, his legs wobbling slightly, shoes making a squelch noise as they’d been flooded by water.</p><p>It didn't sound like a joke, but Papyrus didn't want to put too much thought into it. He reached down, offering to carry sans, but sans just swatted his hands away.</p><p>"But san-"</p><p>"Nah it fine … I can walk … 'sides I feel bad for making you worry" he wobbled ahead of Papyrus to the entrance to the cave.</p><p>Papyrus sat there for a couple of seconds, watching his brother's awkward attempts to walk straight. His mind was trying to catch up with all the things his brother had just said.</p><p>Standing up, Papyrus joined his brother, achieving in 3 brisk steps what took two minutes of fumbling for sans.<br/>
They walked for a bit at a slow pace, both silent. Papyrus was thinking, he was trying to piece together all the jumbled information. He could still hear the hysterical laugh in the back of his head.</p><p>So lost in thought, he didn't notice when sans slowed down behind him.</p><p>Papyrus turned to him, sans pressed his hand against a rock, looking rather exhausted. <br/>
"what's wrong? Just need help walking? I can carry you home, we're not too far from the ferry-"</p><p>Sans shook his head "nah I just… think I forgot somethin' behind .. hey hm why don't you go ahead"</p><p>"Hm I don't know if that's a good idea" Papyrus frowned.</p><p>"I'll be quick" he clicked his fingers "in a flash heh heh"</p><p>Papyrus sighed as he watched him teleport away.<br/>
Using magic whilst drunk probably wasn't the best idea, especially when it came to sans's teleporting abilities. However, Papyrus had found out that his brother had somewhat mastered the skill whilst intoxicated ...somehow, he still didn't want to encourage it though.</p><p>Papyrus continued walking, but stopped. No, he really should check on his brother, for all he knew he had probably found himself in a comically awkward situation that Papyrus would have to help him out of, as usual.<br/>
He sighed to himself. The gloominess of this place wasn't helping with his anxious mood. He'd rather be at home, in Snowdin, with his brother. At least the stress he'd been carrying from the start of the day had tamed slightly after finding his brother.</p><p>The spot of where they had been sitting came back into site, and with that sans too. His brother wasn't fused with a piece of trash or anything bizarre, thankfully. Papyrus tried to hide a breath of relief as he started to speak.</p><p>He stopped.</p><p>His brother wasn't searching for anything, he was just standing still, looking at what would seem to be nothing, worryingly close to the drop. He didn't seemed fazed, he looked peaceful even. Besides from rocking faintly, he was still.</p><p>What was he doing? </p><p>Papyrus steped forward. Just as he did so, his brother fell.</p><p>Everything slowed down as he watched his brother drop into nothing.</p><p>Papyrus hadn't realized he'd run to the edge until his arms grabbed onto the cold wet stone. His boots filling up with water, he didn't care.</p><p>He reached down trying to grab onto anything, but it was too late. There was nothing there, he was just swatting at air.</p><p>Instead, he called on his blue magic, he had to find something, that couldn't just be all. That couldn't be the last time he would see his brother.</p><p>A recognizable ding sound made him jolt, almost sending him over too, his grip tightening both on a soul and the edge. His hold had grabbed onto something small and weak.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sans seemed unfazed as Papyrus brought the soul up to the edge.</p><p>He grabbed onto his limp brother’s body, scrambling as far away as possible from the edge, still holding onto the soul tightly.</p><p>Sans was motionless, his expression blank, eyelights gone. He didn't stir in Papyrus' hold.</p><p>Shaken and barely processing what had just happened, Papyrus trembled. "SANS?!? A-ARE YOU ALRIGHT? … I C-COULD HAVE—"</p><p>So very quiet, sans mumbled, looking at nothing "you weren't supposed to catch me.”</p><p>"WH-WHAT?"</p><p>he sighed, leaning into Papyrus' chest, eyes slowly closing. "Oh well… prob'ly wouldn't have worked anyway".</p><p>"S-s-ans?" Papyrus panicked, what did he mean by that, he didn't mean that-.</p><p>"Sans p-please."</p><p>His brother had fallen asleep, just like any other day. Sans would always fall asleep quickly when Papyrus was close. </p><p>However, this time, Papyrus was left with a lingering dread, surrounded by the sound of running water. </p><p>He wrapped around his brother and started to cry. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Everything was fuzzy and distant, there was an overwhelming heaviness. It took Sans a while to realise he was waking up.</p><p>He blinked a couple of times, his limited vision refusing to focus on anything, everything still feeling way further than it should have been.</p><p>Sans sat up slowly, struggling against the deep and soft duvet.</p><p>Wait duvet— this wasn't his bed, why was he in Papyrus' room?</p><p>Mid thought, the fuzziness faded away only to be replaced by a strong drilling headache. Sans hissed under his breath, rubbing at his forehead.</p><p>Oh, that’s right, he vaguely remembered being stupid drunk last night? Day?</p><p>Papyrus must have found him and brought him here, it would explain most of the heaviness. Though why did Papyrus put him in his bed? He must have been worried...how long had he been avoiding Papyrus again?</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sans could hardly remember anything that had happened. He looked to his side, vision still blurry. There was a chair pulled up beside the bed. That couldn't be good.</p><p>He was starting to think something had happened, more serious than just the usual drunk Sans shenanigans.</p><p>Sans attempted to lift himself up further, but something was pushing on him. He felt heavy, more than hangover heavy, like something had itself wrapped around his soul, so he looked down at his chest.</p><p>His soul was blue— someone was holding it with blue magic. The only possible someone being his brother.</p><p>It wasn't a tight hold, sans could still move about, so it wasn't effecting him as much as his headache was. But it was still there.</p><p>Shit, he really must have fucked up. What had he done that would have caused his brother to hold onto him with magic whilst he was asleep? How long had he'd been doing it? How long had Sans been asleep?</p><p>God, he really didn't want to deal with this right now, maybe he could just fall asleep again— no, he really should just take control of the situation and stop his brother from wasting his magic worrying over whatever stupid thing Sans had done.</p><p>He slumped over the bed, forgetting how awkward it was to crawl out of a bed, considering he slept on only a mattress without a frame. Maybe it was mainly down to the fact he was short, and Papyrus's bed frame was large and way cooler than most, or maybe it was the weird hangover and blue magic combo. Either way, it took him all his effort not to just immediately fall face-first into the carpet.<br/>
Scrubbing at his face, stumbling slightly, sans made his way out the room and down the stairs. He could smell … something, and hear his brother from the kitchen.</p><p>Sans flopped onto the seat and spread his arms out over the table, resting his face flat against it.</p><p>Papyrus was worryingly quiet, he must have noticed Sans by now, but he hadn't said a thing, not even to lecture Sans.</p><p>He heard his brother step into the room and stand over Sans, staying like that for a bit till he placed something next to Sans.</p><p>Sans finally looked up, putting on the goofiest smile. </p><p>"Morin' Pap"</p><p>Papyrus looked so tired. His eyes looked dim and distant, and he held himself awkwardly, unsure and so unlike Papyrus.</p><p>Sans really fucked up.</p><p>
  
</p><p>"GOOD … EVENING ACTUALLY SANS, HOW WAS YOUR SLEEP?" He slimed so very faintly.</p><p>"It was 'ight" Sans leaned back, crossing his arms behind his head.</p><p>"Surprising tho, didn't expect to wake up in a sea of material, drowned in comfort heh … why was I in your bed?"</p><p>Papyrus tensed up for a second, looking away.</p><p>"I was- JUST TIRED OF ORGANISING YOUR ROOM FOR YOU TO SLEEP IN" </p><p>"apf .. you're never tired for anything bro" sans pointed out.</p><p>"YES, WELL IT WAS PARTICULARLY LATE… AND YOU HAD MADE ME WORRY SANS" he sighed.</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry pap… I don't really remember much, to be honest" Sans lifted his hand and started rubbing his head, headache still sharp. </p><p>Papyrus tapped at the cup of water he had placed on the table in front of Sans. </p><p>"WELL A GOOD 'NOT' BREAKFAST MIGHT HELP CLEAR THINGS UP."</p><p>Papyrus strode back into the kitchen, and Sans' smile dropped as he stared at his brother's back.<br/>
He still hadn't let go of Sans' soul, even now that Sans was downstairs and awake. He must be scared of Sans running away or something. Did Sans tell him something? </p><p>Come on, think, there were plenty of disappointing things sans could have told Papyrus— plenty of shitty things he was keeping from his brother. It's just... which one would have caused his brother to react like this?</p><p>Sans had his fingers to his forehead, rubbing absently, when his brother cleared his throat. Sans smiled up to him, he was holding two plates of what seemed to be spagetti on toast. </p><p>Papyrus sat down, putting the plates in front of them and almost immediately started eating... he was also trying to avoid talking to his brother.</p><p>Sans picked at his food, glancing up at Papyrus. He had one hand resting on the side whilst he ate, it was glowing so very slightly blue. Sans frowned.</p><p>"So .. hmm … gonna tell me why you're using blue magic on me?"</p><p>Papyrus stopped eating but didn't look up.</p><p>"PARDON, BROTHER?" </p><p>"come on pap… you really think I can’t notice when someone's holdin' my soul?" Sans leaned forward.<br/>
"How long have you been doing it? Why have you been doing it? Come on bro… you look exhausted … I'm fine aren't I?" </p><p>Papyrus finally looked up with a wobbly smile. </p><p>"I ASSURE YOU BROTHER, I AM FINE. NOT TIRED IN THE SLIGHTEST-"</p><p>"then-..." Sans swallowed. Come on, ask.</p><p>"-Then what happened?" </p><p>Papyrus frowned, looking at Sans— he looked so nervous. Papyrus was never nervous.</p><p>"YOU-... fell off the edge of the waterfall in the garbage dump."</p><p>Sans didn't say anything.</p><p>"I managed to catch you … with, hmm, blue magic" Papyrus crossed his arms in front of him and looked down at his plate.</p><p>"I-... I could have dropped you ...You could have- … I guess I've just been worried … and kept on thinking about how …." He shook his head. “I'm fine… I'm just worried about you"</p><p>"Shi- hmm .. I'm sorry Pap, but hey look I'm fine now and … Sober- ish"</p><p>"That's not what I'm mostly worried about."</p><p>Sans shifted uncomfortably.</p><p>"… well, urr, I was drunk enough I can't remember... probably had just slipped or somethin' … look, it won't happen again." </p><p>Papyrus was silent for a while, until he looked up with a stern expression.</p><p>"You told me after I caught you that you wished I hadn't… that you wished you'd fell."</p><p>Shit.</p><p>Sans looked away. </p><p>"Do you want to die, brother?"</p><p>Sans flinched, he felt something catch his 'throat'. Gosh, that was a terrifying thing to hear someone ask you. Sans almost felt like laughing, he had no idea what to say to that. </p><p>"n-no?" Sans splutterd.</p><p>It was stupid, he knew it was, he'd give anything to just laugh it off and never talk about it again.</p><p>But to his brother it wasn't, he knew his brother was frightened, it made sense why he looked so tired. Why he was clinging onto his soul like that.</p><p>Sans wished he could punch drunk him in the face.</p><p>They both sat, not saying a word. Sans wouldn't dare look at his brother. He was trying to think of what to say, but his mind had ultimately gone blank.</p><p>Papyrus spoke up, his voice choked a bit, sans didn't want to see if he was crying. </p><p>"You were talking about … how you think 'you've done your purpose'? … By looking after me… that i didn't need you anymore. You don't really think this, do you?" Papyrus asked.</p><p>"h-heh" sans wrung at his wrist. "I wouldn't trust what drunk me says … he's a bit of an idiot."</p><p>"Sans." </p><p>He felt Papyrus reach over the table and put a hand on his shoulder, sans looked up at him. He looked so sad.</p><p>"Please… I want you to know that … no matter how old I get, how famous and popular I become... I'll always need you."</p><p>He stepped out of his seat and crouched down next to Sans, his hand still on his shoulder.</p><p>Sans just stared at him.</p><p>
  
</p><p>"pap-" </p><p>"I don't understand it, I don't understand why you would think all you were meant for was to raise me… but-" he sniffed, “I care about you very much sans, you are my brother and mean everything to me. Don't ever think my life would be better without you, because I know with certainty it won't."</p><p>He squeezed Sans' shoulders. They were both shaking.</p><p>"bro I- … I didn't m-mean to make you worry heh heh .. I would never do anything like that to y-you .. you know that right? … I wasn't thinking straight heh … I'm so sorry."</p><p>Papyrus frowned. </p><p>"I don't know if I believe you."</p><p>"H-h-heh" Sans put his hand to his face, covering his eye sockets, the urge to just— just teleport away was unbearable.</p><p>"L-look I really don't kn-know what to tell you… 'cept I'm fine now." </p><p>He heard Papyrus sigh, then he pulled Sans into a hug.</p><p>"Ok.. ok that's fine… I'm just glad you're safe and home now." he rubbed Sans' shoulder.</p><p>Sans leaned into him, and they sat there like that for a few minutes. </p><p>"H-hey" sans patted his brother's arm awkwardly. "Why don't we finish our 'not breakfast'?... really should eat somethin' hah, been surviving off … god knows what for … however long heh." sans smiled up to Pap as he pulled sans back to look at him. </p><p>"YOU ARE RIGHT, BROTHER." </p><p>"I bet mostly junk food … a terrible relation-chip I have with food" sans winked.</p><p>"UGH! ... ALRIGHT SANS!" </p><p>"oh how the time fries … I really ought to ketchup with your healthy cooking Pap." </p><p>"STOP!" Papyrus stood up fast, dislodging Sans as he rolled over on the floor in laughter. </p><p>He stood up, brushing the dust off his shorts. He turned to Papyrus grinning dumbly.</p><p>Papyrus groaned, but smiled down at Sans, giving him a quick hug.</p><p>"I'm glad your here, Sans." he whispered</p><p>"Yeah … heh same … I'm sorry." </p><p>They both went back to eating, and to a somewhat normal day.</p><p>However, Papyrus never let go of Sans' soul..</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Boy! That flower sure does love talking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just a quick little thing ... That I was gonna do as a comic ...<br/>But it had so much dialogue and not much was happening as the charater moving... So I feel like it would have looked boring as a comic </p><p>So why not add here<br/>It does take place not longer after the last chapter</p><p>I might adds some more story bits here if I feel like it ... But the seires will still stay primarily a comic.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Also gosh ... Thank you for all the Kudos and responses I got from that last chapter ... Ahhhh your all so nice!! :']</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sans sat at his station on the edge of Waterfall, he was slumped over, scratching at the wood. <br/>It had hardly been a day since 'the advent', sans was emotionally and physically exhausted from it all.</p><p>He had somehow persuaded Papyrus that he was well enough to work, Sans honestly just wanted some time to himself. It was hard to be around a worried Papyrus, without feeling like he was going to break down and there was no way Sans would let himself do that Infront of Papyrus exspeacilly after what had happened. </p><p>But it was getting harder to hold his smile, he was losing his edge.</p><p>Papyrus throughout the whole evening still clong to Sans. He attempted to confront Papyrus about it, but he honestly didn't want to push on about it, anything about the subject made him feel uneasy, just wanted to be done with it all already.</p><p>If it gave Papyrus some kind of comfort he would have been fine with it, it was just the side effect of using magic like that for so long that worried Sans. </p><p>Not much was known about blue magic, and Sans and his brother were the only two people he knew who used it.</p><p>But at least he had stopped?</p><p>Sans could swear he could still faintly feel the blue magic on his soul ,like Papyrus had still somehow found a way to keep in contact with his soul despite their physical distance. </p><p>It wouldn't surprise him .. if anyone could break a record with magic it would be Papyrus, But then again it could have just been a kind of phantom feeling, for all Sans knew.</p><p>Spacing out Sans didn't notice a small figure push themselves up out of the ground. </p><p>He flinched slightly when it's green vine wagged, minicing a wave.</p><p>"Hey you awake!" Flowey squeaked.</p><p>"Can never tell when your eyelights are gone like that"</p><p>Sans hadn't even noticed, he brought them back and dragged his gaze to the small plant in front of him.</p><p>Flowey watched him, waiting for a response, Sans said nothing.</p><p>Realising this he smiled, wiggling his stem back and forth.</p><p>"HAH wow .. that was pretty dramatic ... Almost felt like I was watching some cringy soap"</p><p>He knew, of course he knew. Sans shouldn't be surprised. He just stared, not moving one bit.</p><p>"What! you're not going to defend yourself! Hah I never knew someone like you could get even stupid-er" Flowey laughed.</p><p>"what do you want?" In the emotionless voice he could muster sans said.</p><p>"Pffffff you've gotten boring "</p><p>The plant grinned, growing higher so that he was eye level with sans.</p><p>"Makes sense I suppose you did just try and kill yourself ... What did you even think it would have changed ... Stupid really to give up your life for nothing"</p><p>He put a leaf to his face, mocking. "Lucky your brother saved you, hey?"</p><p>"I bet he's real worried about you. You know how long he cried after you fell asleep!"</p><p>Sans didn't react but he felt his throat tighten.</p><p>"Sure, I know Papyrus can be real emotional but GOSH I've never seen someone cry so much over something so PATHETIC." he giggled childishly.</p><p>Sans sat up a bit shifting all his weight onto his arm. He was getting comfortable, but made sure not to show it.</p><p>"Look I'm tired bud, whatever you want from me, be quick ... Runnin' on fumes here" he sighed</p><p>Flowey's neutral grin turned dark, voice deepening.<br/>"Hah ... That's the thing ... I know exactly what YOU want from ME ... What you've been waiting for"</p><p>"what?" Sans replied, sounding as uninterested as he possibly could.</p><p>"You want me to reset don't you? You want Papyrus to forget ... either so you can try that weird stunt again, SUCCESSFULLY! ... Or just so that you can live your life knowing your brother has no idea how much of a broken monster you are"</p><p>"It's probably one of the few times you actually want me to reset!".</p><p>He wiggled</p><p>"But hey I've got an idea! ... What about I don't reset" waving his leaves in a sort of jazz hands gesture. "What about I carry on this timeline for as long as possible "</p><p>Sans said nothing.</p><p>"Sure I bet it'll be REAL boring"</p><p>"But for you... I know it'll suck, you'll hate it. Yeah it ain't a timeline where your brother's dead ... But I know you'd just off yourself quickly and that's LAAAAME" flowey looked off into the distance."GOD you're so clingy, it's a wonder your brother doesn't know how worthless you are already" he stuck out his tongue in disgust, then shook his head.</p><p>"That's besides the point ... If I carry on with this timeline you'll have to live in a world where your brother knows how broken you are, he'll be so worried all the time. Worried about you going outside on your own or do anything without him, HELL I'd be surprised if he didn't development some kind of trauma from what you did"</p><p>Sans was fighting against everything not to flinch, he didn't want to imagine that. Flowey pressed on.</p><p>"Knowing that you did all that to your brother and you can't undo it. Must be even more painful for you knowing that resets even exist, which is literally an undo! And how you have no control over them"</p><p>"hmmmm"<br/>Sans was trying to keep any emotion out of his voice, he had learned to know that someone like Flowey, as soon as he could tell that they were getting to you he wouldn't stop talking, and Sans was so very uncomfortable and tired of the conversation already.</p><p>"I don't really care anymore, kid".</p><p>"Oh really? It's not eating you up inside? I know how people like you think, you're so selfish and WEAK"<br/>He gave sans a pointed look.</p><p>"It's a perfect time for me to stop and wait it out ... I've become bored with all the routes and possibilities I've played, I've become bored with watching you slowly become more of a shit" he spat</p><p>"For all I know something new and exciting will happen-"<br/>Flowey closed his eyes.</p><p>Sans took the opportunity to send a clutter of attack right where the plant stood, fast.</p><p>The flower squealed only managing to dodge a few, it wasn't enough to deplimish all his health.</p><p>Flowey stared caught on the monument, probably processing what had happened, then started laughing. "Hah ...HAHAHAH did you just try and kill me!"</p><p>Sans shifted, he swore quietly under his breath.</p><p>"HAH,It must be dawning on you!"</p><p>""I don't care anymore""he said trying to replicate sans' voice "hah! you liar!, you clearly do, you just tired to force a reset, Wow that's almost funny"</p><p>He smirked like a kid.</p><p>"I guess on that note I'll leave you to brew"<br/>"See yah! you smiling trash bag"<br/>Flowey 'waved' before sinking into the ground, his laughter fading away.</p><p>Sans just signed.</p><p>He rubbed his face, groaning. Sans honestly didn't have the energy to react anymore. He just wanted to sleep.</p><p>Maybe deep down what the flower had said bothered Sans. I mean he did try and attack, accidentally proving the plant's point. But he didn't have the will to act on it more than that.</p><p>What happens, happens. Even with all the resets and knowledge of the timelines, sans had realised how powerless he was in it all. </p><p>It was just easier just to let it all go, and if anything, Sans always went for the easier route. </p><p>He curled up into his arms, leaning into the stand.</p><p>'Just don't think about that flower, don't think about how you jumped off in front of your brother, just don't think about the million of future bad decisions you'll make and the protenional of someone finding out about your past.'</p><p>'It all dosen't matter anyway'</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The hoodie's probably a metaphor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sans has officially had enough and given up ...after a butt ton of resets and bad things</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Eeeee I done did another chapter </p><p>This chapter is a prequel to the the first ...and takes place just before that one in sans' perspective to how he got stupid drunk</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sans fell into his room. Or, well, it felt like he did.</p><p>He was standing, swaying slightly, staring blankly at the floor.</p><p>Standing? He wondered if the reset made him stand. He couldn't remember if he had just stood up, or if he had been previously standing before it all began. There was no possible way he could figure it out, not for him at least. He hadn't been standing here in— hell, it could have been years at this point. Time that had passed only for him, and one other.</p><p>Once, he wondered if all this knowledge and time stored in his mind would physically affect him after the resets… whether there was some deep science for his older mind being repetitively copied and pasted into a younger version of himself. He's past caring about it now, and in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter.</p><p>Like everything else.</p><p>His legs felt numb and tried. Not wanting to stand anymore, he let himself crumple into a heap on the floor. Emotionless. He didn't feel anything.</p><p>Eye sockets hollow and unblinking, he glared past the room, not focusing. </p><p>He was so tired, so god damn tired.</p><p>He wanted to scream, break something, destroy the walls and windows. Break his bones.</p><p>
  
  
</p><p>But he just layed there.</p><p>He watched as his thin, gray, weak bones of his hand clutched at the carpet. The textures consumed him. He hated how snug his hoodie felt, it was an undeserved comfort. He studied the fabric of his sleeve. It felt newer, that he could tell. It had gone through so much. It had been torn, drenched, burnt, and stained.</p><p>Dust, he remembered it being covered in dust.</p><p>But now, here, it was softer and newer. </p><p>He loved this hoodie, ever since Papyrus gave it to him. His brother would always treat it with care, as he knew it was sans' favourite, and so always used whatever amazing cleaning magic he processed on it that sans never had the thought to ask about. Papyrus would make it perfect. He'd make it worth keeping after all these years...</p><p>It's always frayed and torn without Papyrus.</p><p>Sans hated it now, but he didn't have the heart to take it off. That, and he'd only find himself flung back into a version of him with it still on.</p><p>Too much effort, he was so tired. </p><p>His brother was shuffling around downstairs. Sans, with his head to the floor, could hear him clearly enough.</p><p>He'd heard this before. It was so twisted that he could almost predict his brother's footsteps.</p><p>Papyrus would head up the stairs in a couple of minutes, yelling at sans to wake up. He always did, and sans was always here, putting on the same face as his brother pushed through the door to tell sans how he shouldn't nap for so long in the middle of the day. </p><p>He was always in the room to hear Pap say that same string of words over and over again.</p><p>So this time he left. He rolled over onto his back and teleported away, not even bothering to stand up.</p><p>He felt the warm carpeted surface of his room change to cold soft snow in a flash.</p><p>Clingy warmth replaced by cold emptiness.</p><p>Open and airy, he wondered if the surface felt like that. Sans figured— no knew— that it would feel different from anything he'd experienced. On the surface there was no end of space, it was limitless.</p><p>Cold empty air. </p><p>Small snowflakes fell into his eye sockets, he could feel them hit the inside of his skull and melt. It wasn't a nice feeling, he couldn't help but flinch— so he closed his eyes.</p><p>An undetermined amount of time passed with him just laying there, his eye sockets shut, his arms stretched out and covered in a thin powdering of snow. He didn’t even sleep, despite being more tired than he'd ever felt. How poetic was it that existence was a never ending joke— a sick joke— for the guy who’s always cracking them. </p><p>Sans sat up slowly, his mind lagging behind him. He felt a rush or vertigo as his vision went blank for a moment before returning.</p><p>That probably wasn't a good thing, but sans ignored it. He just balled his fists into his sockets and dragged them down his face.</p><p>He would very much like to not be thinking right now.</p><p>So, he wobbled his way out of the trees and onto the path, leaving a trial or barely lifted feet and untied shoe strings.</p><p>Pushing through the door into the familiar bar, sans put on a smile. There was a rush of familiar faces, smiles and chatter. </p><p>He smiled, waved, and hummed in response, knowing too well how to act without causing concern or getting involved in an undesired conversation.</p><p>Taking his usual spot, he slumped over and waved to Grillby, who nodded back whilst busying himself with other customers.</p><p>"Hey, weren't you wearing that hoodie yesterday? And the day before that and the day before that." one of the frequent comers chuckled softly.</p><p>"erh it's clean enough" sans grinned back. "don't sweat it … I certainly can't."</p><p>"Wh- you mean skeleton monsters don't sweat?" they looked genuinely curious.</p><p>"nah not really.”</p><p>Sans didn't actually know, or maybe he did, but his brain was too tired to remember.</p><p>"But I swear I saw your brother wearing sweatbands once" </p><p>"well … he's just cool like that." Papyrus really was, every single version of him sans had seen. So kind and strong.</p><p>He would always see the good in everything, so much better than Sans. Even in the face of danger, he stood for what he believed was right— everyone was redeemable in Papyrus' eyes. Even if that person had betrayed, and tortured him. </p><p>Sans vaguely remembered that the flower had always been somewhat hesitant with Papyrus. Maybe all the speeches his brother gave really did affect that soulless weed. Even so, I didn't really matter. Sans was just happy that his brother wasn't like him. He didn't know how Papyrus would react to having his beliefs constantly challenged by his best friend… and even his own brother, over and over again.</p><p>He was everything sans wasn't. He protected everyone he cared about, encouraged and inspired others. Sans was so proud of him.</p><p>The skeleton slumped comfortably into his seat as he drank, feeling himself becoming fuzzier and fuzzier.</p><p>He didn't talk much. He’d already heard most of the conversations in some form or other. He occasionally dropped in to make a few bad jokes or to tease someone, but after a while the weight of everything quieted him down.</p><p>He felt distant, the ever present tar clung to his bones no matter how much he drank.</p><p>Didn't stop him from trying though.</p><p>Tumbling, he tried to get the flame monster's attention again, only for him to give Sans a look.</p><p>The skeleton grumbled, mentality preparing himself, as the bartender approached. </p><p>"I think that's enough, sans."</p><p>Grillby leaned over, his warm light illuminating, sans' groggy mug. "You should go home and get some rest, you look rather unwell.”</p><p>"ahhh don't worry grilllzzzby" he smiled goofily, swatting at the air.</p><p>The flame monster just straightened, folding his arms and giving sans, what he imagined was, a frown.</p><p>"Your brother must be worried by now, I can phone him-"</p><p>"nah no need" gosh, Sans definitely didn't want Papyrus to come crashing in, he had a plan and there was no way he would finish it if his brother caught him now. </p><p>"… just- one more for the road?? erh?" </p><p>His friend frowned more, somehow.</p><p>Sans spat out a laugh, rubbing his cheeks.</p><p>"'m just joking, 'ight I'll take yah advice." </p><p>The seat squeaked as he flumped off, surprisingly landing on his feet.</p><p>"You'll be alright, sans?" The bartenders voice was quiet and soft.</p><p>"Yeah course." The skeleton opened his mouth, but he couldn't even think of a pun, figures. He just smiled instead and waved as he made his way to the door. "Thanks grillbz, put it on my tab".</p><p>Mindlessly, he made his way back down through town. Everything was a bit darker, it must have been late. He headed in the direction of home, but stopped just in front of the library.</p><p>He wasn't going to go back. An idea had started in his head at the bar and he wanted to see where it would go. He knew if he went home it wouldn't happen. He loved his brother more than anything, but he wasn't ready to face him yet, he would lose his nerve. There was also the fact that he didn't want to hear Papyrus say the same things he had heard him say a million times before. The timelines always started with similar phrases, no matter what Sans did. It was all just a script, reminding him of what kind of world he was stuck in.</p><p>He didn't want to have to drag himself through more conversations he had dragged himself through before, Sans was so tired.</p><p>He needed more to drink.</p><p>So, he teleported down the opposite direction, landing in front of the Snowdin shop and putting on his most convincing 'I'm totally sober' face.</p><p>The bunny at the till brightened as he entered.</p><p>"Hello dear! It's been a while since I've seen you in here."</p><p>Sans knocked the snow his shoes off at the door rug and shuffled in, folding his arms behind his head.</p><p>"Ah, Paps is usually the one to do the grocery shopping. He doesn't trust my financial decisions when it comes to food hah, not since I bought a suspiciously large amount of condiments"</p><p>She chuckled. "Well it's nice to see you, is there anything i can get you?"</p><p>"hmm," sans fiddled with his sleeve subconsciously. "maybe a c'bun 'n' … you don't happen to have anything to drink?" </p><p>"Of course—" She pulled out a small paper bag and reached for one of the pastries. "—and do you mean alcohol?" </p><p>Sans flinched, but she was turned and didn't notice. "yeah." </p><p>"I do believe I do, but..." The shopkeeper turned to look at him, a slight hint of concern. Sans sighed.</p><p>"It's for an old friend, I'd get an earful from Papyrus if I didn't bring back anything present worthy … if I had ears" he shrugged.</p><p>"Ah… well I'll see what I can find". </p><p>He subtly let out a breath of relief when she left the room. Did he really look that rough? He awkwardly eyed himself in the reflection of some of the shop items. He looked pretty much the same, aside from his slightly grayer bones and slightly darker rings under his eyes. He just looked like regular sad sack sans. Maybe she still thought he was a child. He hadn't grown any taller than most of the children in Snowdin. Wouldn't be the first or last time that someone would mistake him for being way younger than he was. Skeletons were kind of timeless looking monsters.</p><p>Sans noticed the kind bunny monster walk back through the door and straightened his posture a bit. She smiled at him, holding a bottle.</p><p>"I couldn't really find much, this isn't really that good … I can try to find some other kind of gift—" </p><p>"No no, it's fine thanks. I mean, it's the sentiment that counts, erh?"</p><p>"Well, alright then" she stuffed the bottle into the paper bag and slid it across the table. He paid, thanked her, and did his best not to tumble as he reached for it. He felt slightly embarrassed when she slid it closer to him as he tried.  "Take care dear, it was nice to see you again." <br/> <br/>"heh I'll try, thanks for the goods." </p><p>Sans left. </p><p>He found himself stumbling through the underground with no apparent notion of where he was heading. Deciding to avoid Snowdin completely after lying to Grillby, and probably worrying that bunny monster, he didn't really want them to see him stumbling around with a bottle that was basically a third of his size. Not to mention the possibility of bumping into his brother. He could imagine the disappointment Papyrus would have to find sans in this state, and sans couldn't burden him with that.</p><p>So he just kept walking. He wasn't a particularly fast walker even while sober, so it took a long time to wander deep into Waterfall.</p><p>The flower suddenly crossed Sans' mind, but it didn't last. He really didn't want to dwell on thinking about all the plans that flower could be making. It had come to the point in the past few resets where he had become obsessed with finding out every little detail he could about that flower. Nothing came of it. Now, Sans officially gave up on trying to figure out how to stop the resets.</p><p>His phone rang. </p><p>He unlocked it with one hand. As expected, it was Papyrus. Pap had sent a text before, but had already moved on to the phoning stage. Sans just watched the phone screen until the ringing stopped, then scrolled through his contacts. Though it would appear that Sans had many friends, he only had four contacts saved that he'd consider his close friends… and that was including his brother. </p><p>It made him think.</p><p>A few more messages popped up, all his brother‘s. He ignored them. He wanted to talk to his brother last... he cared about him the most and knew his brother might catch onto his intentions more quickly. Or not, maybe it was also partly Sans procrastinating. </p><p>Either way, he didn't want to talk to Papyrus yet.</p><p>Wandering into a smaller caven, Sans flumped into a corner. No one was around, as it was late. This was good, he wanted to be alone.</p><p>He pulled out his phone again and started to phone someone. They didn't pick up at first, sans didn't expect them to, but on the second attempt a small nervous voice answered. </p><p>"S-sans? … what's— … hey?" </p><p>"heya Al, been a while, you ok?" </p><p>"Y-yeah I'm fine?... What's wrong?" She sounded confused.</p><p>"nothin', I just wanted to check if yah doing good"</p><p>"But why s-so late, and why now … I feel like you've been avoiding m-me."</p><p>He couldn't actually remember if he had been, but he wasn't surprised she felt like that, he was neither the best person nor friend. That was mainly the reason he was phoning her.</p><p>"Figured you'd still be up"</p><p>"Hah … yeah."</p><p>"Hey listen…" sans rubbed his eyes. "Hmm… sorry I ain't been as— present as I used to be, kinda wanna tell yah that I think— you're insanely smart and talented— more then yah give yourself credit for—"</p><p>"Sans-" she tried to cut him off but sans continued.</p><p>"'n' I'm glad… that we're friends 'n' I got to spend time dickin' around with science and video games with yah… Guess what I'm tryin to say is—-" he took a breath in. "It was a pleasure working with you, Al"</p><p>"Was? Sans are you ok?" now she sounded concerned, she was too good. Sans should have thought about how he worded that.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, don't worry" </p><p>"No! you're r-really worrying me, y-you sound drunk!"</p><p>"Apff … just a bit tipsy … hah— ain't I allowed to be kind for once."</p><p>"You've always been kind to me Sans. . I feel like th-this is something more."</p><p>Of course she knew something was off, they were both too similar in that sense. Birds of a feather, they always had been.</p><p>"H-heh Alph—"</p><p>"—Where are you? Are you safe?" She cut him off.</p><p>"'m at home with Pap" he lied "look there's nothing to worry about, Alphys"</p><p>"… ok well … p-please promise me you'll t-talk to me if anything is wrong"</p><p>"heh I'll keep it in mind—"</p><p>"Please sans … I'm being serious, I know what you’re like."</p><p>He sighed. "I owe you … like… a couple d-dozen 'being a supportive friend whilst the other's sad' points."</p><p>"it’s just that y-you never tell me a-anything— I want to help you, Sans"</p><p>She was too nice.</p><p>"Heh heh there's really nothing to worry about, and you know I hate being serious …" There was an awkward moment of silence. "anyway I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing-"</p><p>"B-but Sans-"</p><p>"bye Alph" he hung up before she could finish.</p><p>Well that was a complete trainwreck, he should have planned it out better. Who was he kidding, there was no way he could get a cohesive thought out like this.</p><p>Sans curled up smaller in the corner.</p><p>It wasn't to comfortable, Waterfall always had this kind of clingy humidness, which usually sans wouldn't notice, but now... it was the only thing he could feel.</p><p>Suddenly, he awoke completely disoriented. He didn't remember falling asleep. An unbearable throbbing dizziness made him shake his head, which honestly didn't help.</p><p>He sat up.</p><p>How long was he passed out? He could check his phone, but the idea of a bright digital screen convinced him otherwise.</p><p>Instead he just stared up at the 'not stars'.</p><p>He felt even more groggy than before, could have been partly because he had fallen asleep in a musky place like Waterfall. Sans got up in a wobbling but successful vertical in motion. He took a swig of the bottle, winced. That probably wasn't a good idea.</p><p>He was never one for good ideas anyway. </p><p>Shuffling on his way, he had an idea now of where to go. It took him a while to get there, but he wasn't really in any particular rush. </p><p>The dump came into view, and sans made his way to the steep drop. He ungracefully sat on the edge, not caring about getting soaked.</p><p>There was one thing he wanted to try. His head was swimming, and he was tired. His brother would be fine, he had grown way past needing Sans. Sans remembered how he used to think that his only goal in life was to raise his brother... he still did. Everything he did, from as far back as he could remember, he did for his baby brother.</p><p>But now, he was a burden more than anything now, absolutely worthless.</p><p>This wasn't even just sans' self doubt talking. He had literal proof of how he failed his brother over and over again. He was no longer able to protect him.</p><p>And if sans' purpose wasn't to protect and raise his brother, then he didn't know what he was here for. </p><p>He'd given up on science, and breaking the barrier never really mattered to sans. Even his unexplained curel awareness of resets and the strings of codes lead him nowhere. His place in this word was pointless.</p><p>He just wanted to slip away into that endless drop.</p><p>Even if it reset and he came back, he just really didn't want to be here right now. For all he knew, his mind may change in the next reset. Or maybe there was never going to be a reset after this.</p><p>It didn't matter.</p><p>He was tired.</p><p>There was just one thing he wanted to do before he went. He was just building up the courage to do it. He kept his phone on him for a reason.</p><p>"OH MY GOSH, SANS?!?" </p><p>Maybe he didn't need his phone after all.</p><p>Sans heard his brother slosh threw the stream behind him.</p><p> "IS THIS WHERE YOU’VE BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME?!?… I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE!!"</p><p>Sans leaned back, he was still really dizzy. He smiled at his little bro.</p><p>"hey p'yrus".</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>